2014 Magnificence. 2019 Beyond.
"The tumor has grown back.”
My reaction was far different than five years ago. The tears began pouring out of my eyes. I think it even surprised my neurosurgeon. Five years ago I was 100% in and ready, “Let’s do this!” This time it was more of like the voices in my head were shouting, “Please just stop talking!!”
Everything was different. The tumor was different. The risks were different. The reactions when telling friends and colleagues were different.
I told God to please not hold my tears against me. For they weren’t tears of doubt or fear, but I just needed to feel what I needed to feel at this moment, this day, that I needed to feel it.
And I did. I did my fetal position thing laying across the bed, I did the sobbing then stopping then sobbing thing intermittently all day, I did what I needed to do to get it all out.
Thursday morning I woke up, thanked God and said, “Okay God, You’re up!”